I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
