I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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