Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
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