Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
