ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
