I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
