I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
