What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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