i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
