thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
