woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i would one night stand the shit outta him
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
