Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize
