he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
