absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
