she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I'm bleeding and have questions
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
