I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
