I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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