Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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