That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
