They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
