Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
