It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
