I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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