I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
