Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
