He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
