You made me cry and you don't even care
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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