when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
