sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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