Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
