Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
