I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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