The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
