My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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