she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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