Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
