I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
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