i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I just googled if crying burns calories
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
