the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
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