Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
