dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
