the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
We need to get me chipped asap
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
