maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
