also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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