Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
