chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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