No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
