the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
