Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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