im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
