you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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