I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
