Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
